Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

1. I normally hate these chain things and have been known to delete people from my phone/MySpace/life for sending too many.

2. I love fresh avocado to the point where I’ll just mash one up and eat it on bread with lettuce and tomato.

3. I routinely refer to God as “She” (or “S/He” in print) – the resulting discomfort in my readers/hearers makes me warm inside.

4. I chew every pen I touch – you’ve been warned.

5. I drink a glass of water with a tablespoon of vinegar in it semi-regularly – it’s good for ya.

6. I make a mean chicken korma and roti from scratch.

7. My favorite drink is Wild Turkey 101 and Diet Dr Pepper.

8. Over the past 3 years, my bartending prowess has gotten over 400 people slizzurred and ready to act a fool. Contact me for info on how I can help make your next party a loud, disorganized fun fest.

9. I’ve always wanted dark skin – the flawless, velvety-looking bittersweet chocolate kind.

10. I have OCD tendencies and they’re getting stronger. If I don’t remember locking the door, I will turn the car around, go back home/to my store and check. I continually resituate my drinking glass for fear of knocking it over. And so on.

11. No matter how off the beaten path you think your love life is, 10-to-1 odds I win in that department.

12. I love Jesus but His fan club is a little much sometimes. Jerry Falwell, I’m looking at you.

13. I have no problem correcting strangers’ children in public if what they’re fucking up directly affects me, and DARING their lazy-ass mama or daddy to say something.

14. I was born on the same day as General Stonewall Jackson AND Christian Dior and Cristóbal Balenciaga.

15. “Chi il bel sogno di Doretta” is the only opera aria that consistently moves me to tears, but only when Leontyne Price sings it.

16. I like to invent characters and then roleplay as them during conversations for my own amusement. I let people know what I’m doing and that it’s all in jest, though.

17. I once won 5 dollars in high school for knowing that Ouagadougou is the capital of Burkina Faso. Yeah, I was surprised that useless tidbit was worth that much, too…

18. I have a weakness for men with aquiline noses.

19. The various events of my life have convinced me that there is some truth to astrology.

20. My dog’s name is Gryffydd (pronounced GRIF-ith with a soft “th”) but most people are hellbent on calling him Griffin.

21. I sang a song in Mandarin Chinese on my senior recital just to fuck with the voice faculty.

22. I talk to myself and make really random noises for no reason when I’m by myself.

23. Barbecued goat or the promise thereof renders me totally susceptible to manipulation.

24. My cellphone must be pink no matter what brand it is.

25. I sometimes listen to several (read: 30) singers present the same aria back to back for research purposes.


~ by marcionus on July 29, 2009.

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